What You Need to Know to Strengthen

Your Relationships Strong communication skills and the capacity to openly discuss your feelings with your partner are essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. A lot of couples have trouble communicating their feelings clearly, listening to each other without getting defensive, and resolving conflicts in a way that fosters connection rather than distance. These seven essential relationship skills will aid in connection, resiliency, and authenticity, regardless of whether you are in a committed relationship, a member of a non-monogamous network, or navigating complex family systems. It’s not just about avoiding conflict in strong relationships—in fact, conflict is often a good thing!—but also about growing together. Positive communication, supportive interactions, and collaborative decision-making strengthen relationship quality over time, according to research. PMC

We frequently see prospective clients who come to us citing “communication” as their primary relationship issue because we are a team of couple therapists who specialize in helping people improve their relationships and feel more confident and secure in their partnerships. Communication is, after all, essential, right?! I would like to refute the notion that communication skills are the most important for a partnership or loving relationship to succeed. Yes, that is correct. This does not imply that communication is not crucial; in fact, it is essential! I just don’t think it’s the most important way to improve your relationship. In this article, I’ll talk about how communication can help you feel more secure in close relationships. But I’ll also talk about some less well-known aspects of human connection that I think are just as important to healthy, happy relationships. Continue reading to learn more about the additional skills you should work on developing to improve your primary relationships’ intimacy, security, and connection. Why are connections so crucial? Let’s begin by addressing this major issue. “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives,” says Esther Perel. Although it may sound cheesy, I absolutely adore this quote! (In such a way that I included it on our homepage.) It may feel overly simplified, but as a therapist and person who’s fascinated by the human experience, I think this quote really sums up our most vital, human capacity and need: connection. People who know me probably hear me say this a lot (sorry, I’m not sorry), but humans are social creatures who are wired for connection. We are not meant to live our lives alone or experience excessive loneliness for long periods of time. People thrive when they feel like they belong, when they have healthy relationships, and when they live in communities that share our values and purpose. On the other hand, people who do not have these things tend to be depressed, to feel self-conscious and unworthy, to feel horribly alone, and to lack a sense of purpose or significance in their lives. You literally need companionship and connection to survive, so relationships are essential. Going back to Esther’s quote, we have a better quality of life and a greater sense of well-being if we believe we are in healthy, fulfilling relationships. In point of fact, studies have shown that strong relationships boost survival chances by 50%! That is a significant sum! I mean, woahhhh. But when our relationships aren’t as good as they should be, people feel a lot of distress, which has a big impact on our bodies and physical health. It also tends to make us feel insecure, which makes us think less well of ourselves. In this vein, Rosie Shrout’s research on the effects of relationships on our physical health “shown that couples who are more negative and hostile in their daily interactions have heightened cardiovascular reactivity, immune response, higher inflammation, and higher cortisol level.” As you can see, our health and well-being are directly influenced by the quality of our relationships. We need communities and groups that include relationships with multiple people at once, in addition to significant close relationships. Check out my previous post, “On the Importance of Community,” to learn more about the significance of community. the most critical abilities for enhancing your relationships You may be wondering, “But how do I go about improving the quality of my relationships?” now that you are aware that humans need healthy, connected relationships of high quality to live long and healthy lives. That’s a great question, and I’m glad you asked! Communication is, of course, an essential relationship skill, as I mentioned at the beginning of this article. It helps all parties in a relationship feel more confident and secure and increases intimacy and connection. In case you were wondering, when we as therapists talk about communication skills, we typically refer to the ability to talk to people with whom you have close relationships in a more direct, transparent, authentic, and vulnerable manner. This also includes standing up for yourself and clearly stating what you need and want, as well as establishing healthy boundaries—even when doing so feels pretty scary! I want to outline a number of other vital relationship skills that frequently get overlooked when we are primarily thinking that communication is the key to successful relationships because I believe that communication is only one of many important relationship skills and not THE most important skill. If you really want advice on improving your communication skills, I’m sure a quick Google search will turn up a lot of communication skills articles! Therefore, in order to assist you in enhancing the quality of your relationships, here are seven additional relationship skills: Relationship Self-Awareness Since it is primarily about you as an individual, self-awareness is essential to deepening your connections, starting with the least relationship-y. Self-awareness in a relationship means knowing who you are and what you value, knowing your past relationships and how they have affected you now, and having a strong, established sense of who you are. It also means being aware of how you feel, your relational needs (what you need to feel safe and satisfied in relationships), and your embodiment (what’s going on in your body at any given time). This can be thought of as both knowing who you are now and knowing who you are in the moment.